Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Some solid questions

Next week we are starting solids with Andrea.  I desperately wanted to wait until the 6 month mark which is also my birthday.  What better way to say, "Hey, I feel really old!" than feeding your child rice cereal for the first time?  But I have to admit my intentions are not very pure.

If you've spent even a small amount of time reading this blog you know Andrea and I are in the middle of a sleeping war.  I'm losing.  I knew that getting up in the night was part of having a baby, but I had no idea how hard it would be on my body.  Mothers all around me told me that it gets better after three months and I waved hello and then goodbye at the three month mark with no change in her sleeping behavior.  Now I'm on my fifth month of no sleep with little hope that I will ever again get a full nights rest.  But those same lucky mothers whose little darlings slept so well also have told me that solids will help.  So every evening when I pray my nightly prayer and cry my daily cry I pretend they are right.

This last week my pleasant child has been crankier than usual for no reason I can find.  She demands to be held all the time an if I move even a few feet from her little play area we have tears.  My house is a disaster zone 'cause I can't get a darn thing done!  I'm wondering if she still feels satisfied with just nursing.  She paws at my food and watches me eat with great fascination and I ask myself, "Am I giving her enough?"  Part of me feels that solids will help her feel more satisfied and this cranky streak will end.

So, as I pontificate the value of solids, I ask myself why?  Why am I delaying this?  What difference will the thirteen days between the first of June and my birthday make?  Am I just prolonging my sleepless torment because I'm too fixated on a date?  But a bigger question haunts me and I try to push it away.

Are solids really the answer to all of my problems?

I secretly hope so, but I openly doubt it.

Which leaves me in the same place I've been since December.  What do I do?

2 comments:

  1. :( Sorry that you've been struggling so much... I'd go by her signs that she's ready to eat, before an actual date. The least you can do is try!

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  2. It's really not going to make a difference, I've found. It's always worth a try- she seems interested if she is watching you. And just to warn you she might be like my Channing who ended up not liking most baby foods. Until he was old enough to eat what I was eating he didn't care. So, you might be putting it off just to discover she either loves it or doesn't!

    Lindsey Francom

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