Sunday, January 31, 2010
Paul: Do you want to nap?
Me: No, I want to blog, but I don't know what to blog about so I'm avoiding it.
Paul: Then blog about napping.
Me in my whiniest baby voice: I don't want to blog about napping!!
But this short conversation did inspire me. Why not blog about napping? We all do it, don't we?
When I was just a young little person I use to come home from preschool and watch Mr. Rogers. That guy didn't have the market cornered on excitement. I'm going to be honest and just put that out there. But he was perfect napping material. I am older now, Mr. Rogers doesn't play on my television every afternoon, and I don't nap every day anymore.
But I do brush my teeth every day. Dental hygiene is important because you only get one set of teeth and they need to last for your entire life. Well, actually. . . you get two sets of teeth but the first set falls out about as fast as it came in. Unless you are me. It took me forever to loose my first baby tooth and to this day I still have a couple left.
Speaking of left, have you ever noticed that more men are left handed then women? I spend thirty hours a week watching men and women sign receipts only to notice that the majority of left-handed people are male. My dad and my husband are both left handed, but so is my aunt Beverly (and she's not a man).
I'm not a man either. The cramps I've been feeling for the past two days have been reminding me constantly. Yesterday a coworker of mine said if I got pregnant I would be done with cramps. She's never been pregnant before, I can tell. I gently reminded her that, sure, menstrual craps wouldn't come but a whole slew of other pains, aches, pukes, swellings, hemorrhoids, and other pregnancy symptoms would occur. She laughed like that was funny but that's because she's never been pregnant.
Neither have I, but I have had many pregnant friends. And by many I mostly mean two, but they were vocal about it. Two can seem like a lot sometimes. Think how hard typing would be if you lost two fingers? Or maybe two hands. How do you type without two hands? Two is seeming bigger by the minute.
Minutes aren't the best measurement of time. Depending on the activity they can feel longer or shorter. Ten minutes of working on the cash register with a little old man who only has one check left and keeps writing the total wrong because his hearing aid is buzzing in his pocket and not in his ear feels like an eternity compared to ten minutes bowling with your favorite person.
My favorite person is Paul. He keeps me warm when the temperature in our apartment drops below sixty-five in the middle of the night. I wake up a lot in the middle of the night. Especially lately. My mind doesn't seem to settle long enough for me to rest.
Cereal settles when it's transported which is why most product is packaged and sold by weight. All the same, I feel slightly ripped off when I open a box of corn flakes that is only half full. Not to mention that a bowl of crumbs isn't nearly as filling. It must move through too quickly because it's too easy to digest when it's already so broken down.
Speaking of digest, 'Reader's Digest' just sent us a second copy of the December issue this last week. That doesn't make any sense. No one cares anymore what the mall Santa won't tell you or what to bring to the Hanukkah party. Why do they keep sending it to me? I have questions a 'Reader's Digest' can only answer like what kind of Valentine jokes are they making on base? Or how does chocolate affect my ability to function in an office setting? These questions must go unanswered for now because I have to read about all the different meanings of words like frankincense and wassail.
Don't get me wrong, learning new words is important. In fact, learning is important which is why I'm reapplying to BYU after my year-long break. I'm hoping to obtain a much-needed grant. It was much-needed last year too, but I wasn't poor enough or married enough for the government to be satisfied. I shouldn't have a problem this year because I am completely married and completely poor. And I did it all for government approval. Heh heh. . . just kidding!
I could go on about kidding and the damage it can do when done poorly, but that would veer me off the topic that I really want to address and that is. . . what was I addressing. . .? *Scrolling back up* Napping! That's right, napping! But I don't want to blog about napping. . .
Sunday, January 24, 2010
Remember this? That was ancient history and I'm talking Stonehenge kind of ancient. I was determined to never again make such juvenile mistakes. I learned that the key to making the perfect cake is to make it at my mom's house. She actually owns two round cake pans and an oven with slightly more accurate temperatures. So, I started my Tuesday morning by gathering pre-purchased ingredients in a Wal-Mart sack and driving across Orem.
this. The round pans were lined with wax paper and cooking spray and flour to keep them from sticking to the bottom of the pan. Too much? Absolutely not. It worked. The cakes came out effortlessly and beautifully. I laid them out to cool and began preparing some butter cream frosting which I used to stick my layers together. So far so good.
Sunday, January 17, 2010
But the past six months I learned much about another typical man thing that I don't want to do. Provide. Whoa. When Paul got laid off this summer I immediately urged him to start looking for jobs aggressively. I didn't think we'd survive on my income alone and, to be quite honest, I didn't want to. I wanted to be able to pay for my schooling and buy a washer and dryer and save up money for an eventual baby. Paul began applying. Although he was called in for several job interviews, he wasn't getting any calls back. He signed up to do temporary work with a service in Provo and waited for an assignment. I kept pressuring him to keep looking but as his semester of school began his search for work ended. I felt torn between my feelings and his. We decided to pray about it and go to the temple.
I had a very distinct impression while I was there that told me to listen to my husband, and I would be blessed for my obedience. This really wasn't the answer I wanted. I was hoping Paul and I would hear simultaneous voices that said, "Kayla is always right! Do as she commands." After the session I asked that man I love what he felt we should do because, after all, I was supposed to listen. He said he felt like it was an important semester and he needed to focus on school. I said I felt good about it, and we drove home in silence.
Money was tight and so many times we didn't think it was possible to survive on my income alone, but we paid our tithing and miracles happened. Month after month we had money in the bank that was unexplainable. However, December arrived and everything tightened around us. For the first time we didn't have enough to pay our bills and there was no relief in sight. I didn't despair though. God had got us that far so I knew something was coming.
I'm happy to announce Paul started his new job this week and I got a raise. See, prayers are answered.
I'm going to be making a cake this week so you can bet next Sunday's post will be about a disaster waiting to happen.
Saturday, January 9, 2010
Friday, January 1, 2010
- Why am I SO. . . ?
- Why doesn't ANYONE. . . ?
- Why do I ALWAYS have to. . . ?
- Why doesn't he EVER. . . ?
- Why does she ALWAYS. . . ?
I have found myself in that very place asking those very questions. But it wasn't until I read them in that book on shiny green paper that I really pondered the effect they have on my life. They take away my power to see clearly.I have a co-worker with a reputation of being difficult. She is very defensive and when she speaks it can sometimes sound belittling. While I had personally experienced no problems with her for the last year and a half that she's worked with me, two weeks ago she said just the wrong thing to prick my small ego. I shouldn't have got offended, but I did. And since that day, every word that has exited her small frame has filled me with anger and resentment. For this I am not proud. I heard myself telling Paul about her Monday afternoon, using this phrase, "She always talks as if everyone around her is inferior." My decision to see in absolutes sent me hunting for offense where none was intended.
Later that week I was reading a conference talk by President Monson from the priesthood session. He talked about the destruction of anger. I knew I was being chastised for my actions. I felt prompted to continue to another talk by Elder Anderson about the love of the Savior. While reading his words I felt the deepest sorrow for what I had done. I had not only let myself get angry, I had let hate and enmity enter my heart towards another daughter of God that was perfectly precious to him. My need to cover my own sins and hateful thoughts sent me digging for faults in others to justify the way I felt. It was a whole lot of ugliness. Absolute ugliness.
I'm making a vow to ask better questions to myself, positive questions, and to watch for Satan's twisted snares. I want to think better of other people and take offense less. This New Year's goal, or hopefully New Life goal, is proving harder than I thought. Yesterday I fell for it again and I'm feeling quite discourage and even embarrassed. So I'll try again today to be a little bit better. Wish me luck. Hopefully, my future use of absolute thinking and talking will be more righteous and keep me out of trouble.
But don't blame me if an occasional absolute pops up in my writing for detail-oriented purposes. Righteous detail-oriented purposes, of course.