Boy oh boy, am I glad I'm a woman (although, this is debatable once a month). This feeling isn't a recent developmental. I remember watching my dad crawl under our home in Southern Illinois where it was dark, dirty, claustrophobic, and spider-infested. . . all things I'm very much afraid of. But he did it because he was the man. Now, in the shadow of the mountains in Utah he climbs up tall ladders and ventures out onto the roof to do swap cooler maintenance and repairs. I joined him once and because my imagination is so vivid, I watched a scene play out in my head where I fell off the tall. . .very tall. . . felt-taller-by-the-minute roof and (in slow motion, of course) drifted closer and closer to the pavement. The initial hit caused my head to explode. Because this seemed like such a real possibility to my fifth grade imagination I am happy to say that thanks to my dad I've never had to return to the roof again. See, men do the yucky jobs for which I'm very thankful.
But the past six months I learned much about another typical man thing that I don't want to do. Provide. Whoa. When Paul got laid off this summer I immediately urged him to start looking for jobs aggressively. I didn't think we'd survive on my income alone and, to be quite honest, I didn't want to. I wanted to be able to pay for my schooling and buy a washer and dryer and save up money for an eventual baby. Paul began applying. Although he was called in for several job interviews, he wasn't getting any calls back. He signed up to do temporary work with a service in Provo and waited for an assignment. I kept pressuring him to keep looking but as his semester of school began his search for work ended. I felt torn between my feelings and his. We decided to pray about it and go to the temple.
I had a very distinct impression while I was there that told me to listen to my husband, and I would be blessed for my obedience. This really wasn't the answer I wanted. I was hoping Paul and I would hear simultaneous voices that said, "Kayla is always right! Do as she commands." After the session I asked that man I love what he felt we should do because, after all, I was supposed to listen. He said he felt like it was an important semester and he needed to focus on school. I said I felt good about it, and we drove home in silence.
Money was tight and so many times we didn't think it was possible to survive on my income alone, but we paid our tithing and miracles happened. Month after month we had money in the bank that was unexplainable. However, December arrived and everything tightened around us. For the first time we didn't have enough to pay our bills and there was no relief in sight. I didn't despair though. God had got us that far so I knew something was coming.
I'm happy to announce Paul started his new job this week and I got a raise. See, prayers are answered.
I'm going to be making a cake this week so you can bet next Sunday's post will be about a disaster waiting to happen.