Napping

Paul and I just had a very interesting conversation that went something like this:

Paul:  Do you want to nap?
Me:  No, I want to blog, but I don't know what to blog about so I'm avoiding it.
Paul:  Then blog about napping.
Me in my whiniest baby voice: I don't want to blog about napping!!

But this short conversation did inspire me.  Why not blog about napping?  We all do it, don't we?

When I was just a young little person I use to come home from preschool and watch Mr. Rogers.  That guy didn't have the market cornered on excitement.  I'm going to be honest and just put that out there.  But he was perfect napping material.  I am older now, Mr. Rogers doesn't play on my television every afternoon, and I don't nap every day anymore.

But I do brush my teeth every day.  Dental hygiene is important because you only get one set of teeth and they need to last for your entire life.  Well, actually. . . you get two sets of teeth but the first set falls out about as fast as it came in.  Unless you are me.  It took me forever to loose my first baby tooth and to this day I still have a couple left.

Speaking of left, have you ever noticed that more men are left handed then women?  I spend thirty hours a week watching men and women sign receipts only to notice that the majority of left-handed people are male.  My dad and my husband are both left handed, but so is my aunt Beverly (and she's not a man).

I'm not a man either.  The cramps I've been feeling for the past two days have been reminding me constantly.  Yesterday a coworker of mine said if I got pregnant I would be done with cramps.  She's never been pregnant before, I can tell.  I gently reminded her that, sure, menstrual craps wouldn't come but a whole slew of other pains, aches, pukes, swellings, hemorrhoids, and other pregnancy symptoms would occur.  She laughed like that was funny but that's because she's never been pregnant.

Neither have I, but I have had many pregnant friends.  And by many I mostly mean two, but they were vocal about it.  Two can seem like a lot sometimes.  Think how hard typing would be if you lost two fingers?  Or maybe two hands.  How do you type without two hands?  Two is seeming bigger by the minute.

Minutes aren't the best measurement of time.  Depending on the activity they can feel longer or shorter.  Ten minutes of working on the cash register with a little old man who only has one check left and keeps writing the total wrong because his hearing aid is buzzing in his pocket and not in his ear feels like an eternity compared to ten minutes bowling with your favorite person.

My favorite person is Paul.  He keeps me warm when the temperature in our apartment drops below sixty-five in the middle of the night.  I wake up a lot in the middle of the night.  Especially lately.  My mind doesn't seem to settle long enough for me to rest.

Cereal settles when it's transported which is why most product is packaged and sold by weight.  All the same, I feel slightly ripped off when I open a box of corn flakes that is only half full.  Not to mention that a bowl of crumbs isn't nearly as filling.  It must move through too quickly because it's too easy to digest when it's already so broken down.

Speaking of digest, 'Reader's Digest' just sent us a second copy of the December issue this last week.  That doesn't make any sense.  No one cares anymore what the mall Santa won't tell you or what to bring to the Hanukkah party.  Why do they keep sending it to me?  I have questions a 'Reader's Digest' can only answer like what kind of Valentine jokes are they making on base?  Or how does chocolate affect my ability to function in an office setting?  These questions must go unanswered for now because I have to read about all the different meanings of words like frankincense and wassail.

Don't get me wrong, learning new words is important.  In fact, learning is important which is why I'm reapplying to BYU after my year-long break.  I'm hoping to obtain a much-needed grant.  It was much-needed last year too, but I wasn't poor enough or married enough for the government to be satisfied.  I shouldn't have a problem this year because I am completely married and completely poor.  And I did it all for government approval.  Heh heh. . . just kidding!

I could go on about kidding and the damage it can do when done poorly, but that would veer me off the topic that I really want to address and that is. . . what was I addressing. . .?  *Scrolling back up*  Napping!  That's right, napping!  But I don't want to blog about napping. . .