It's funny to think about this time two years ago. Sitting in on a grassy spot just outside Macey's my best friend and I ate personal pan pizzas and I cried as I told her I thought I'd never get married. I couldn't imagine a boy ever loving me enough to commit to me for eternity or even life for that matter. I didn't even love myself, why should anyone else?
That same month Paul was hired at my work.
He had just turned twenty-three.
I was eighteen.
And I had a LOT of growing up to do.
But he loved me.
To this day I don't quite understand it.
But I'm glad.
Because he does my taxes, washes dishes with me, empties the dish drainer, takes out the garbage, and comforts me when I wake up from a nightmare about being taken to jail for protecting birds. He pulls his hands through my hair when I cry, tucks me in when I'm tired, smiles when I try to be funny, and gets my door every time we go somewhere together. He tells me I'm beautiful and makes me feel wanted and important.
Have I made you sick yet? It's about to get worse.
Because it was Paul's birthday yesterday I decided to make him a special cake. I wanted him to know how much I loved him so I made every part of the cake symbolic. I began with a chocolate cake and chocolate frosting symbolizing romance. I wanted to thank him for spontaneous bouquets of flowers and kisses under the Christmas mistletoe. The filling was caramel to represent the richness he brings to my life and coconut to represent tropical. . . tropical. . . okay, so we're not very tropical, but caramel and coconut go good together just like me and Paul.
Blue symbolizes trust, and I can trust him with anything. There are days when I feel trodden down by unhappy customers or embarrassed by the aftermath of too many beans, and I feel comfortable talking to Paul because I know he will laugh with me or comfort me in my sorrows. I trust him with my innermost thoughts and most embarrassing moments because he doesn't make me feel ridiculous.
Yellow symbolizes warmth and cheerfulness. One smile from him and I feel blissfully happy. One message on my phone where I hear his soft voice telling me he loves me and that he got a good parking place is all it takes to make me melt. I especially like his bright, happy eyes.
Crimson red for romance and a ruby shape to represent how precious our marriage is to me.
The border is made up of squares which in literature often represent righteousness. I love that he prays with me each night. I smile when I listen to him read letters from Moroni as though he wrote them himself and with enough feeling to convince me to surrender my weapons of war. I love being in the temple with him, dressed completely in white, and imaging what eternity will be like.