At the beginning of August, 2010, my mother, my husband, and I drove down to Provo for the much anticipated 20 week ultrasound. I was convinced I was having a boy. Paul agreed that we could get slushies after the appointment, and I planned on getting a coordinating color to the gender of the baby. I was REALLY craving blue raspberry and pretty confident that's what I'd be getting. Alas, the baby was a girl so I got an unsatisfying pink watermelon slushy.
When I started this pregnancy I thought I was having another girl. I suppose I was so accustomed to referring to a female inside me that it seemed the most natural. However, at about 16 weeks I started to feel this baby move, and boy, did he move. His movements were so unlike Andrea's rare and gentle prods. I was feeling jabs, somersaults, hiccups, break dancing, and some rather forceful pokes. On a particularly active night, as I tried to lay on my side and study, it seemed as if the baby was jumping on the bed. I told Paul right then that I was pretty sure we were having a boy. Blue raspberry slushy, here I come!
Today was the ultrasound (and Paul's 28th birthday) and I had been looking forward to and dreading it. During the day, I would long to see the face of my baby, find out the gender, and know that everything was developing as it should. In the quiet evening hours, doubts and fears would settle into my soul, and I often fell asleep wondering if they were a product of my overactive imagination or a warning of something to come. Last night I had one of those restless nights of dread, fearing an ultrasound would reveal a dead baby and that all the fetal movement had been delusions.
When the infamous blue gel was sufficiently coating my stomach and the baton was place over my baby bulge, I saw a very still little baby. My heart sank. I remember Andrea being so active and present. I remember marveling at how much she moved when I could hardly feel her. This baby was just still. After the technician measured the head I asked if she noticed the baby moving. "Oh yes," she reassured me, and she moved down his body to show me his beating heart. I was so relieved to see the little chambers pumping that I almost began to cry. As she measured his femur, I got a good shot of his little package. In fact, he showed that to us many times as we tried to measure various body parts. Hoping this meant he was not shy, we tried to get some pictures of his face, but just like his sister, he held his arms firmly in front, completely blocking our view.
Baby number two, still no good profile or face shots. Bummer. But we got a lot of his little boy parts. He's going to love when I tell his girlfriends that story someday.
Anyway, after the ultrasound Paul pulled up to Sonic for our ceremonial slushy. Guess what flavor was not on the menu? BLUE RASPBERRY! I cried a little (in my mind) and examined the other blue flavor. Coconut. Yuck. I got green apple. Maybe next pregnancy. . .