Friday, July 20, 2012

They come

Tuesday was just one of those days that I felt completely alone.  I woke up with tears in my eyes that seemed to linger for hours.  I did my best to ignore it.  I cleaned the kitchen, did a load of laundry, read books to Andrea, built towers, tore them down, picked up bath toys, and made the final edits to a wedding invitation for a friend.  But the moment I laid my little girl in her bed the distractions disappeared, and I found myself alone in my room facing the feelings head on.

The first emotion to rise to the surface was that loneliness. Not because I was the only one in the room, but because I had feelings of insecurity and fear I felt uncomfortable sharing with anyone.  Without a confidante to throw ideas around with I set in the computer chair fidgeting and staring at my e-mail.  I wished Andrea would have restless dreams and call for me, distracting me once more.  But she didn't call.  She slept soundly for three hours whilst I wrestled with the unsettled feeling in my soul.

As time passed the loneliness turned into sorrow.  After two silent hours fighting back tears, my creased forehead gave way to the dam waiting to explode from my eyes.  Streams if sadness morphed into heavy sobs that sounded so comical I almost forgot what they were for.  In my state of embarrassing blubbering I remembered a video I'd once seen.

"Some blessings come soon, some come late, and some don’t come until heaven; but for those who embrace the gospel of Jesus Christ, they come." -Jeffery R. Holland

1 comment:

  1. I don't have answers.....but I do have sympathy....hope you're doing OK.